Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
