they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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