your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
