By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
