it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize