Can i not drive my cunt home
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
