You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
