he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
