im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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