Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
