Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
