One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
