i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize