dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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