I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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