I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize