All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Randomize
