U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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