so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
