dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
