Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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