We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
