I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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