So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
