it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
