**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
