I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
