I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
