she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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