my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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