Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
