I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
