so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Someone came in the potted fern
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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