Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
