I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
