sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
