Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
