awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My balls are so social today.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
