I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You are the jesus of drinking
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize