wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
