Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
