I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
