question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
