The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
