Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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