why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize