You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
FUCK WHALES
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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