so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
