literally had 100 drinks last night.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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