She is in my trunk
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
