You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
