is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize