so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
