Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
