I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
