i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
