take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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