Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
