i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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