I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
