I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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