You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
