Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
