Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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