I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize