id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
