It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
