I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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